


Jack Off Dirt

by kayliemalinza



Series: Freewrites [14]
Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Genre: Crack, Drunkenness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-11
Updated: 2006-11-11
Packaged: 2017-10-27 08:30:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayliemalinza/pseuds/kayliemalinza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Norrington is drunk and ranting about Jack Sparrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jack Off Dirt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lostwiginity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostwiginity/gifts).



> Lostwiginity prompted me with, "Did you know that the phrase Jack of Dirt sounds wrong in more than one ways?"

James was drunk. He was also in a mood about the captain, and though Gibbs and Marty didn't appreciate his tone or his spurious allegations, they knew better than to stop a man's muttering when he was in his cups.

"Yes, the infamoush _Jack Shparrow_. Heesh not sho great now, ish he?" James mumbled, lifting the tankard to his lips again and smiling at it like the metal rim was his bonny sweetheart. "Jack," he said again, half in contempt and half in wonderment because after half-an-hour, the name ceased to mean anything but two cookie-consonants stuck together with a vowel cream-filling. "Jack Shparrow." He took another long swallow of rum.

Gibbs and Marty exchanged a look, wondering if the former Commodore would pass out soon so they could back abovedecks and have fun with the rest of the crew without disobeying Jack's orders to "make sure the good former Commodore doesn't do anything... stupid." Norrington shook himself out of his stupor and pointed a wavery finger at Gibbs.

"Jack," he said again, but this time with purpose. "Everyone'sh alwaysh talking about Jack Shparrow an' hish eksh." James blinked rapidly, lips pursing in determination. "Hish ekshploitsh. But heesh nothin' but a... a frightful child. Wi' a jack of dirt." He cocked his head at the lamplight shining in the rum. "Jar of dirt. Jack of dirt. Jack on sand? Water? In water's off sand. Off dirt. Jack off dirt." He giggled.

Marty picked up the silver-tipped cane Jack had left in the hold from the last shore leave, rolling his eyes at Gibbs' dissuading gestures. He pressed the tip to James' chest until the former Commodore, still staring in confusion at the cane, fell backwards onto the deck.

"Let's go," said Marty, and tossed the cane aside. Gibbs thought about it for about two seconds, then shrugged and followed him up the gangway.

James started to snore.


End file.
